Author Archives: melissahite

Crash Course in Bible Marking

A couple of years ago, I started going to Bear Valley’s Higher Ground Encampment (a Bible camp for teen girls). It’s an awesome experience all around, but by far my favorite part is Kathy Pollard’s Bible Marking class, where we learn about chain reference Bible studies. It’s pretty easy, and I’m going to teach you how to do it! (In case you couldn’t tell, this article is going to be very informal– there’s just no way to make this sound pretty. It will, however, be very hands on, which I think is a good tradeoff.)

First, I have to tell you about the pens. They are called Micron Pigma pens and you can get them at most art supply stores (if you have Guiry’s, that’s where I get mine). Unlike other pens and highlighters, they won’t bleed through the thin Bible paper! They come in a plethora of lovely colors and a few different widths– I personally prefer the “01” width because it’s not so fat that you can’t write small, but it’s not so skinny that you can barely read it. You’ll want a lot of colors for various and sundry marking purposes.

I’m going to jump right into the study– today we’re going to do the plan of salvation. This study comes in particularly handy when you’re actually having a Bible study with someone trying to convert them (especially if that person is already religious/denominational). Again, thanks to Kathy Pollard– I’m pretty much giving you word for word her Bible marking class. I just pass along information. (Also, I’m using the New American Standard when I tell you what to underline.)

Alright. If you have blank pages in the front/back of your Bible, turn there and write “Plan of Salvation” in the color of your choice. In parentheses next to it write “PS” and then write “Isaiah 62:2.”

Now go to Isaiah 62:2. (I’m not going to write out the verses… because this is going to be a long article as is.) Circle the verse and write (PS) next to it, so you’ll know which study it’s part of (sometimes they overlap).  Underline “called by a new name.” In your margin, with your lovely Bible marking pen, write “That name is Christian.” Now, at the end of that verse draw an arrow and write “Acts 11:26.” That’s where we’re going next.

Ok. Flip to Acts 11:26, circle, write (PS). Underline “Christians” because that’s the new name Isaiah was talking about. Draw your arrow at the end to Ephesians 1:3.

(click on picture for a closer look)

Circle Ephesians 1:3 and write (PS). This is the last time I’ll tell you to do that because I know you’re all old pros now. Underline “every spiritual blessing” and “in Christ.” Your arrow this time goes to verse 7 of the same chapter.

At this point we’re going to start listing the spiritual blessings that are found in Christ. It might even be useful, if you’re in a study, to start making a two-column list on paper: “In Christ” and “Outside of Christ.”

In verse 7, underline “In Him,” “redemption,” and “forgiveness.”  In your margin, write, “These are the spiritual blessings.” Draw your arrow to Ephesians 2:6.

In 2:6, underline “raised up with Him.” Draw your arrow to 2:10.

In 2:10, underline “created in Christ Jesus for good works” and circle the “for.” In the margin, write “for = purpose.” Draw your arrow to 2:12-13.

This is where we also start highlighting what happens if you’re NOT in Christ. In verse 12, underline “separate from Christ” and “no hope and without God.” Of course, there’s still an upside, so in 13 underline “brought near.” Alright, we’re finally leaving Ephesians. Draw your arrow to 2 Timothy 2:1.

In 2 Timothy, underline “grace” and “in Christ Jesus.” (By the way, just because I underline doesn’t mean you have to. You can box it or circle it or whatever you want.) Draw your arrow to 2 Corinthians 5:17.

In 2 Corinthians, underline “in Christ” and both occurrences of “new.” Draw your arrow to Romans 3:24.

In Romans, underline “justify,” “gift,” “through the redemption,” and “in Christ Jesus.” I have kind of a lot written in my margin for this one, so feel free to condense somehow if you don’t have as much space as me. I wrote “gift = freely” and “justified = just as if I never sinned.” Draw your arrow to 8:1 of the same book.

In 8:1, underline “no condemnation” and (you guessed it!) “in Christ Jesus.” Draw your arrow to 1 Thessalonians 4:16.

In Thessalonians, underline “the dead in Christ will rise first” (I even have a double underline under “in Christ”).

At this point in the study, you’ve completely established that you want to be in Christ! We’ve underlined twelve spiritual blessings that those in Christ receive, and we haven’t even begun to look at all the passages that talk about it. When you add in the negative implications that come with being outside of Christ, the conclusion is obvious: in Christ is the place to be.

In the second half of the study, we’ll be asking how to receive those spiritual blessings– how to get into Christ. Tune in next week to get the second half!

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 17) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Filed under Salvation Basics, Scripture study, Series, Study technique

Others Before Self (Part 4 of 4)

Okay, lovely ladies, we’re finally there: the last chapter of Philippians. We’ve seen the examples of Paul, Christ, Timothy, and Epaphroditus. We’ve seen the appeals to be selfless and the instructions on how to do so (click here for part 1, part 2, or part 3). Now at last we get to see the central problem in the Philippian congregation: two fighting women.

Before we get to that, though, I want to look at one other significant keyword: agape. You may or may not know that in the Greek New Testament there are two main words for two main kinds of love. Phileo is used for brotherly affection, but agape is used for the deep type of love that involves self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice, hmmm? Sorta fits into what we’ve been talking about, doesn’t it! Oh, I love the Bible. So inter-connected and wonderful. Agape occurs seven times in Philippians, and it’s always translated “love” or “beloved.” See if you can find them for yourself. :)

Diving back in…

The Problem—Euodia and Syntyche (4:1-3)

At the beginning of this chapter Paul starts to bring his letter to its clincher: “Therefore, my beloved brethren… in this way stand firm in the Lord” (1). How do we stand firm in the Lord? Maintain this spirit of selflessness that we’ve been talking about. Now he’s going to get into the real point. Take a look at verse 2: “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

“Look, Melissa, I don’t know. You say Euodia and Syntyche were the main problem, but if that’s the case why do they pop up so late in the book? How do you know they’re that important?”

Well, I’m going to show you. :)

The word for “urge” in this verse is the Greek word parakalo, and it’s special because it’s a petition verb. In English writing, we often use bold lettering, italics, or capital letters to stress an important point. Greek petition verbs are the equivalent of all these things plus a few exclamation points for good measure. In other words, Paul really wants to drive this point home. It’s also extremely significant that he uses the word twice in the same sentence. This double-petition verb phenomenon only occurs one other place in the New Testament (in 1 Thessalonians 4:1, if you’re interested). God is never redundant without a purpose. This whole book is redundant! He’s redundant when He’s really trying to drum an important point into our heads. Therefore, this redundancy in petition verbs is really, really, really SUPER important. It’s so important, in fact, that people who’ve studied the book (like Denny Petrillo) consider it to be the key verse in the book.

Now look at the next few words, the action Paul is urging Euodia and Syntyche to perform: “to live in harmony.” That’s our central keyword phroneo! Remember, it could also be translated “to be of the same mind”… And we know from 2:3 that the way to be of the same mind is to “regard one another as more important than yourselves.” This letter was for the entire Philippian church, but it was really written so they could know how to help these two women get along!

Now, we shouldn’t let Euodia and Syntyche go by without giving them a little credit. These weren’t bad women; they were members of the Lord’s church, for crying out loud! Paul asks the congregation to “help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel” (3). They’ve worked with Paul, and they obviously care about the cause of Christ! However, they rubbed one another the wrong way, and they couldn’t let their agape love overcome this dislike and disagreement. So what does Paul do to help? He enlists the church! What an awesome lesson for us! Part of the reason God put the church in place is so we could help other Christians make it to Heaven. We need to be sure and utilize that gift when we’re having a sin problem!

You’re Getting There (4:14-20)

I know that’s a weird section title, but before I explain, take a look at verses 14 through 17:

“Nevertheless, you have done well to share in my affliction. You yourselves also know, Philippians, that at the first preaching of the gospel after I left Macedonia, no church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving but you alone; for even in Thessalonica you sent a gift more than once for my needs. Not that I seek the gift itself, but I seek for the profit which increases to your account.”

Phew. Long stretch there, but I want you to see it all.

Remember how Paul started with encouragement? He’s ending with encouragement too. He’s saying, “Hey, you know what? You’re already getting there. You’re already selfless in your generosity towards me and my work for Christ.” Check that last verse again: “Not that I seek the gift itself, but I seek for the profit which increases to your account.” Not only is the church’s giving good for Paul, it’s good for themselves! It’s a step in the right direction toward total selflessness.

I want to clarify, dear ladies— you don’t now know everything there is to know about the book of Philippians. There’s a WEALTH of knowledge that I didn’t even touch on. That’s part of the beauty of the Bible: you never know everything about it. There’s always more treasures to go find.

So I implore you to go find some treasure for yourself. Study the book. Look for more keywords. Explore. More than anything, though, I implore you to apply what we’ve studied to your life. Put Christ before yourself. Put others before yourself. Be willing to compromise your opinions. Live in harmony with one another. I hope this study has been as profitable for you as it’s been for me!

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Others Before Self (Part 3 of 4)

Hey ladies! As you might already know, we’re learning about selflessness through a study of Philippians (see previous posts here: part one, part two). So far Paul has given two examples of selflessness for the church at Philippi (and us!) to follow: first, himself, and second, Jesus Christ. That’s not all, though… we’re not even at the halfway point yet! I have quite a bit to cover in this article, so I’m going to go ahead and jump right into the text. Remember to study for yourself too!

Example #3—Timothy (2:19-24)

At this point in the chapter Paul begins to talk about his desire to send Timothy to the Philippian congregation as an aid and as a messenger. We know quite a bit about Timothy from other parts of the New Testament: he was extremely close to Paul (1 Tim. 1:2), he was young (1 Tim. 4:12), and he learned much from his mother and grandmother, Eunice and Lois (2 Tim. 1:5). Here in Philippians, we get special insight into the content of Timothy’s character.

Beginning in verse 20, Paul tells us why he wishes to send Timothy to Philippi: “For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare.” Paul wants to be sure to send somebody who will invest himself selflessly into the work of the church with a full and complete concern. He goes on to say, “For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus” (21). The “they” here is everybody else Paul could have sent, the ones that weren’t his kindred spirits. Paul has confidence that Timothy will put Christ and His will before himself. Sound familiar? No wonder Paul calls him a kindred spirit! The two of them have the same top priorities: the cause of Christ and the furtherance of His church.

Example #4—Epaphroditus (2:25-30)

Paul starts to switch it up here by giving us two (soon to be three) examples in a row. After Timothy, he writes about another friend of his: Epaphroditus. The church at Philippi already knows this man. Paul describes him as “your messenger and minister to my need” (25), and, skipping ahead a little, Paul mentions in 4:18 that he has “received from Epaphroditus what you have sent.” This congregation supported Paul, and it sounds like Epaphroditus was the go-between who delivered supplies and gifts to him.

Paul has already sent Epaphroditus to Philippi as an example and aid. Why? Take a look at verse 26 and part of 27: “Because he was longing for you all and was distressed because you had heard that he was sick. For indeed he was sick to the point of death.” Did you catch that? Epaphroditus wasn’t distressed because he was deathly ill; he was distressed because the Philippians had heard about it, and he didn’t want them to worry about him! Can you imagine being on your deathbed and having concern only for your loved ones? Talk about selfless. Fortunately, we see in the end of verse 27 that God had mercy on Epaphroditus and spared his life. Paul instructs the church to “Receive him then in the Lord with all joy, and hold men like him in high regard; because he came close to death for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was deficient in your service to me.” Once again, two priorities: Christ, and his church.

Example #5—Paul, Part 2 (3:1-14)

In 3:1, Paul says, “To write the same things again is no trouble to me, and it is a safeguard for you.” Commentaries often offer a lot of speculation as to the meaning of this sentence. Is he referring to another letter? What is this supposed to mean? It becomes really easy to understand when you’ve been paying to the examples the entire time. Down in verse 4, Paul begins referring to himself. Just for good measure, he’s offering himself up again as an example of selflessness. That’s the same thing he’s writing again.

In 4 through 6, Paul lists all the earthly things he could be prideful of during his time as a practicing Jew. However, he clarifies, “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.” Just like when he gave Jesus as an example, we’re seeing here the tie-in between humility and selflessness. All Paul’s earthly triumphs have been totally eclipsed by his love for and subjection to Christ.

Appeal #3 (3:15-21)

“Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained” (15-16).

Have this attitude? It’s our friend phroneo! In other words, have this attitude I’ve been telling you about this entire letter. In case you weren’t buying that the whole example thing was intentional, take a look at the next verse: “Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us” (emp. added).

Good ol’ Paul’s never going to leave us without a why. First, he spotlights the enemies of the cross, “whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things” (19). These are the people who put their earthly desires, and therefore themselves, first. However, “our citizenship is in heaven” (20). In being selfless we focus more on Christ than on the things of this world, and this will lead to our ultimate exultation in heaven. That’s why we be selfless.

We’re three quarters of the way through, ladies! Come back next week to see how Paul wraps up this awesome letter.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Others Before Self (Part 2 of 4)

If you started this series with me last week, you know that we’re covering the book of Philippians. As we’ve already discovered, the theme of the book is “others before self”, and the Apostle Paul is getting this message across using an example/appeal format. Once again, I want to heavily encourage you to study this book for yourself as we go through this broad overview… I can’t cover everything! Now that we’re a little further in, though, I do want to help you out with a keyword before we start digging back into the text.

The central keyword that Paul uses in this letter is the Greek word phroneo, which means “to be of the same mind” or “to have this attitude.” It’s a bit of a hard one to pin down in English, but usually it has a connotation of being in harmony with somebody else. It’s translated a few different ways in the text, so I’ll give you the references if you want to mark it. (I’m using the New American Standard, by the way.)

1:7—“feel this way”

2:2—“being of the same mind” and “intent on one purpose”

2:5—“have this attitude”

3:15—“have this attitude” and “have a different attitude”

3:19—“set their minds”

4:2—“to live in harmony”

4:10—“concern” and “were concerned”

As you can see, the word occurs nine times, which is kind of a lot for a book with only four chapters. You can also see how it would be powerful in Paul’s letter, whether he’s saying, “Have the same attitude… as this example I’m going to point out to you” or “be of the same mind… with each other.”

Alrighty, then, jumping back into the text.

Example #2—Christ (2:5-11)

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although he existed in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself,
taking the form of a bondservant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death
even death on a cross.” (5-8)

No, my computer did not just spaz out and mess up my line breaks. I want you to look at the downward trend. First, Jesus had a mindset. He “did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped” (6). That phrase “a thing to be grasped” is the Greek word harpagmos, and this is the only occurance of it in the New Testament. Literally it means “that which is to be held on to forcibly.” So, then, Jesus didn’t think that his equality with God was important enough (in comparison with something else) for him to hold onto it forcibly. Because of his mindset, Jesus took an action. He “emptied himself” (7) of his heavenly privileges by becoming a man. Not only did he become a man, he became a “bond-servant” (7). Not only did he become a bond-servant, but he “humbled himself by becoming obedient” to God’s will even to the point of death, even to the lowest death possible: death on a cross (8).

Once again, we can see the theme: “others before self.” Jesus regarded OUR salvation as so important that he left heaven for it. That’s about as selfless as it gets, ladies. In this passage we can also see the role of humility in selflessness. Jesus’ action began with a humble mindset. He knew just how awesome he was. He knew that He HAD equality with God, but He didn’t let that change His thinking. He went from a higher status than any of us will ever reach to a lower despair than any of us will ever have to go through, all for us, a grossly imperfect world.

But that’s thankfully not the end of the story. Paul goes on to tell us, “For this reason, God highly exalted Him…” and continues speaking about the exultation and power Jesus received in verses 9-11. Paul is reminding the Philippian church just who their Jesus is, because he’s about to tell them how important it is that they follow His commands.

Appeal #2 (2:12-18)

First, Paul implies the church, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (12). Hear that? SALVATION. This quarrel between these two women was reaching such a point that it was a salvation issue! Look at verse 13: “for it is God who is at work in you.” It sounds like the fight was even impairing the congregation’s ability to reach the community in an effective way. If they were known for the fact that Euodia and Syntyche just couldn’t deal with each other, how would that reflect on God and his church?

Fortunately, Paul once again offers the solution to the problem: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing” (14). Grumbling is complaining, and where does complaining come from? Selfishness, of course! We think ourselves important enough that we feel the need to voice our dissatisfaction with something. Disputing, too, is a result of selfishness, just like we’ve been talking about. So, will being selfless get the church at Philippi its credibility back? You betcha. Take a look at 2:15: “so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world” (emp. added). Why should we do all things without grumbling or disputing? Why should we be selfless? It will help us keep our salvation (like in vs. 12), and it will set us apart from the world.

So we have Paul the Apostle and the Lord Jesus Christ for examples… big shoes to fill, don’t you think? Stay tuned, though. We’ll be back at it next week… Paul’s about to show us that you don’t have to be God’s Son or even a seasoned missionary to be selfless.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Others Before Self (Part 1 of 4)

I love the Bible. And I really love the book of Philippians.

Philippians is a really simple book that is somehow still lost on most of the religious world. A lot of the denominational world will tell you that Philippians is a book full of joy and praise from the Apostle Paul to the church at Philippi. Really, though, it’s all about a problem the congregation there was having—two ladies, Euodia and Syntyche, just couldn’t get along (4:2). And it was sucking all the joy out of the church. So how does Paul suggest the church fix the problem? It’s very simple. The entire theme of the book is “others before self.”

This series is going to be an overview of the book of Philippians. I would beg you to please read the book and study it for yourself, because there’s NO WAY I can fit everything there is to know about it in writing (mostly because… I don’t know everything there is to know about it). I also want to mention that most of this thinking is not original with me. Denny Petrillo taught it to our teen class. This study is mostly derived from my notes from that class. So, thanks Mr. Denny!

Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Before we start really digging, I want to point out that even though Paul is pointing out a problem in the church, he starts out by encouraging them (1:1-11). He mentions his thankfulness for them (3-4), his appreciation for their partaking in the Lord’s work (5), his confidence in God to perfect their congregation (6), his deep love for them (7-8), and his prayers of supplication for them (9-11). Ladies, when we rebuke a sister in Christ, how often do we do it discouragingly? How often do we aim to tear someone down emotionally rather than build her up spiritually? Let’s take a leaf out of Paul’s book and vocalize to the people we rebuke how much we love them, that we’re praying for them, and that we have confidence in their ability and willingness to change. We should never, ever water down the Word of God, but the more lovingly we present it, the more likely people are to accept it.

Example #1—Paul (1:12-26)
Alright, moving on. The bulk of Philippians follows a basic format: an example of the theme followed by an appeal to apply the theme. The theme, like we said before, is “others before self,” and Paul’s first example is himself. First, Paul puts Christ and the gospel before himself. Paul is currently imprisoned in Rome, but he doesn’t complain about it; rather, he points out, “my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel” (12). Why? Well, word has gotten around even amongst non-believers that Paul is being imprisoned for the sake of Christ (13) and it’s boosting the confidence of other Christians to preach the gospel (14). After all, Paul seems to be doing okay in prison (I mean, he’s only on house arrest), so God will take care of others who preach as well, right? Paul continues with his own thoughts on the matter: “I will not be put to shame in anything, but with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (20-21).

Next, Paul puts the church before himself. He says, “I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake” (23-24). Paul is homesick for Heaven, like we are so very often even today. He’d rather be there than on earth. However, he has a proper perspective: he knows that God can still use him to do fruitful work, and so he “will remain and continue with you all [the Philippian church] for your progress and joy in the faith” (25).

We’ve all heard the acronym for J.O.Y. – “Jesus, Others, You.” Paul is outlining this perfectly here! For him, it’s really all about the furthering of the gospel and the strengthening of the church. Now, he’s going to ask the Philippians to think the same way.

Appeal #1—(1:27 – 2:4)
Paul now shifts his focus to the Philippians themselves, urging them, “Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that… I will hear that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel” (27).  Look at all those “unity” phrases—“one spirit”, “one mind”, “together”. He continues this thought in 2:2—“Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.” Alright, God wants a unified church. But how do we be unified? Paul’s going to tell us. Look at 2:3-4: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Aha! The theme that I promised was coming! The solution to any quarrel is to put others before oneself. If both sides of the quarrel do this, they WILL come to a compromise. Every time. As Paul points out, this isn’t merely an action, it’s a way of thinking: “with humility OF MIND REGARD one another as more important than yourselves.” It’s not just acting like someone’s more important than you… it’s believing it and putting that belief into practice.

Paul’s not going to ask us to take his example alone, though. Tune in next week to see what else he has to say… he’s lined up a better Example than any other.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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That’s Not Funny

I don’t know about you, but I love a good joke. It’s a well-known fact that my sense of humor is fairly easy to satisfy—I’ll laugh at the corniest joke you ever heard—but there are a few jokes I’ve been hearing around that I just don’t think are funny.

Dirty jokes. They’re an epidemic. Even in the church, some Christians have just come to accept, laugh at, and even tell sexual jokes, especially recently. What does the Bible have to say about it? Let’s take a look at Ephesians 5:3-5 to find out.

“But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” 

Dirty jokes give the world the wrong impression about our faith. Before I get deep into the point, I’ll give you a quick run down of the book of Ephesians. Paul wrote his letter to the Church at Ephesus to tell them two things: the blessings of being in Christ (chapters 1-3), and how to display Christ in one’s life (4-6). This passage in Chapter 5, therefore, is giving us instruction on how to prove that we’re Christians through our actions. According to Paul’s writing, immorality and impurity are not “proper among saints”… but I didn’t have to tell you that, right? The kicker is the second verse in the passage— “filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting… are not fitting.” Filthiness and coarse jesting… sounds like foul humor to me. It just doesn’t fit in with Christian character to laugh at or tell dirty jokes. How is that being an ambassador of Christ?

There are better things we can do with our words. After verse 4 tells us that filthy jokes aren’t fitting for us, it suggests an alternative: “but rather giving of thanks.” We could use our words to tell jokes that could potentially lead others to lust or be a detriment to our faith—but instead, we could thank God for all that He’s given to us. In the same vein, we can use our words to be encouraging to others, to preach the word to non-Christians, to pray for strength in times of trouble. Later in the same chapter, Paul tells the Ephesian Christians to “be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (5:15-16). We only have so long on this earth, and we only have so many words to speak. Let’s pick the words that are going to lift people up in their faith, not damage it.

We shouldn’t joke about something so serious. Let’s look at verse 5 again. “For this you know with certainty…” Wait a second. “For” is a connecting word—this thought is directly tied to the one before it. So let’s keep looking: “For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” This statement is the “why” to Paul’s previous “what.” We shouldn’t participate in “coarse jesting”… but why? Because the acts we’re joking about send people to hell! A soul being lost to hell for all eternity isn’t something to laugh at. It’s serious and it’s sad.

So, dear ladies, I’m going to leave you with a few charges:

-Watch your influences. Whether it’s your friends, the TV shows you watch, or anything else, if it’s telling dirty jokes, stay away from it! The more dirty jokes you understand, the more tempting it will be to find them funny. Keep your mind pure! (Philippians 4:8).

-Make it very clear that you don’t want to hear dirty jokes, especially if you struggle with them. If everyone around you is telling them, ask them to stop. If they don’t, leave. If they’re Christians, call them on it. Be an example.

-Practice the presence of God. I know it’s cliché, but would you tell Jesus that joke? If not, don’t tell it.

We don’t want to look like the world, we don’t want to squander our words, and we certainly don’t want to kid around about eternity. Let’s keep our jokes pure!

Editor’s Note: Check out KatharosNOW (a monthly e-zine for Christian teen girls) for this post and other great posts. This month, “Guys Speak Out”

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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True Reliance

The last time I went to a youth rally, the speaker’s lesson could be summed up in one sentence: “Rely on God, and you’ll be fine.”

Really? No way! I had no clue that’s what I was supposed to be doing all this time I’ve been a Christian! Thanks for clearing that up for me! The thing about the lesson I heard at the youth rally is that’s where the application ended—at almost zero. He told me to rely on God, but he didn’t bother to tell me HOW.

I don’t think this is exclusively a youth problem. In the church in general it seems like we often love to pull out these elusive “feel good” statements. Rely on God. Be an example. Love one another. Take the sin out of your life. These are all very simple statements, but the concepts they describe are much bigger than the words representing them. You can tell someone to bake a cake all day long, but if she doesn’t know how, it’s not going to happen until you tell her how. Good thing we have a pretty extensive instruction book. I don’t know about you, but I want to rely on God. So how do I do it?

Check out Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” I would think trust goes along with reliance, wouldn’t you? Note the contrast here—it’s important. God tells us NOT to rely on ourselves, but rather TO rely on Him. The New Testament weighs in too—take a look at 1 Peter 5:6-7: “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” Casting your anxiety on Someone who cares for you… that’s reliance, isn’t it? But  if you look at the phrase directly before, it’s clearly talking about humility. Let’s talk about that for a minute.

To quote the marvelous C.S. Lewis, “Thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools.” However, this isn’t how God sees humility. If you have the time, go ahead and read the whole book of Philippians. In case you don’t have the time, I’ll sum it up real quick. The main problem with the church at Philippi was selfishness—it was causing disunity, complaining, quarrels, all kinds of issues. So in Philippians 2:3, Paul writes, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Did you catch that? Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself in regard to some kind of gold standard, it’s thinking less of yourself in regard to others.

So let’s bring this tangent back around. If humility in general is putting others first, then humbling yourself to God would have to be putting Him first in your life. Our basic human tendency is to put ourselves in that position, but humility involves a switch. It involves taking ourselves out of the position of trust and putting God there instead. Wait a second, trust? We said before that was reliance, right? I told you the contrast in Proverbs was important.

Here’s the bottom line: relying on God isn’t just some kind of emotional dependency when things get tough. It’s not a warm fuzzy feeling. It’s the deliberate action of taking yourself out of the position of control in your life and putting God there instead. What better Pilot could we possibly have? There’s no way God’s going to steer us wrong if we let Him take the wheel.

So I’m going to end where I started: Rely on God, and you’ll be fine.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Biblical Metaphors: Salt

If you know me at all, even a little bit, you know that I may be one of the biggest literature nerds around. I’ve been known to read entire books in a day, and I can pick out symbols out of just about anything, be it Jane Eyre or the movie Batman Begins. I love figuring out how works of writing fit together, how symbols and metaphors and foreshadowing all blend into this masterful work of art.

But let me tell you, ladies, I’ve never found a work of art like the Bible.

See, all the metaphors in my books eventually fall apart. There comes a point where the analogy just doesn’t fit anymore. But if you look at Biblical metaphors, they’re perfect. You can take them from so many different angles, but they work from all angles. The other part of a Biblical metaphor that’s far different from one in say, Jane Eyre is that no word of the Bible is wasted. Charlotte Bronte’s got some beautiful writing, but am I supposed to take her pretty words and apply them to my life? Of course not. The Master Author wrote the Bible to an end. This metaphor is speaking to us, trying to drive home a point, trying to make us change our lives for the better. So let’s look at one!

Take a look at Matthew 5:13— “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.” Even if you’re new to the church, I’m almost positive you’ve heard this before—we hear the salt and light metaphor so often that it almost starts to sound mundane. Oh, but it’s not! Before we dig in, go check out Colossians 4:6 and James 3:12 in your own Bible. These are the only other mentions of salt in the New Testament, and they’re both referring to your speech. That might be important.

Today we pretty much just put salt on our food to enhance flavors, but in the ancient world, salt was a hot commodity. Even into the Middle Ages, before the days of refrigeration, it was used to preserve food. Salt was so valuable in Jesus’ time that only the very rich could afford it. Some even used it as money.

Christianity and the preaching of the gospel are quite literally the spice of life. What can “enhance the flavor” of a person’s life like the gospel? How can a person be preserved past death and decay but through the gospel? What is more valuable than the gospel? The thing about salt is that it’s an agent. Once it’s salt, it doesn’t do anything more for itself, but instead it enhances and helps other things. That’s what Jesus means by us being the salt of the earth. Once we’ve obeyed the gospel and we’re living the Christian life, it’s our job to use the gospel to help others. To SPEAK about it. See what I meant about Colossians and James?

Have you ever watched a cooking show? I admit it, I’m a die-hard Food Network watcher. What do they always add, no matter what they’re cooking? Salt. Always. It apparently goes with every taste known to man, be it meat or soup or caramel. What if we realized, ladies, that Christianity goes with everything? That everybody needs the gospel? That anyone can be susceptible to the gospel? At first glance, I thought the Food Network chef was crazy, putting salt on her caramel, but you know what? It’s good! Spread the gospel even in the places you don’t think it’ll catch on, because everybody needs it, and anyone can accept it.

I mentioned before that salt was used as a form of payment. In Jesus’ time, swindlers would often trick unsuspecting people into taking sand instead of salt. At first glance, a grain of sand looks almost exactly like a grain of salt, but that’s about the only similarity. Sand can’t do any of the things salt can do. How often are we the sand instead of the salt? If we’re not actually telling anyone about God, how are we enhancing the world? Preserving it? Increasing its value? If we’re not doing those things, we’re useless as sand. We might as well be “thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.”

So, dear ladies, we can take a few things from this study. One: the Bible is inspired. How does a normal, flesh and blood person come up with a metaphor that works that insanely well? He doesn’t. God does. God picked the perfect words for His Book. Two: We’ve got to spread the gospel, even in places it doesn’t seem like it would “taste good.” Three: We’ve got to make sure we’re the real deal. Fake salt won’t do the trick—we’ve got to be as much a Christian inside as we appear on the outside.

Pretty awesome, huh?

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Enthralled With Your Beauty

There I was in the Kohl’s dressing room, standing in front of the mirror and crying. I’m not generally a really superficial person when it comes to appearances, but I’m like every other woman in the world: I like to look pretty. And at that moment in time, I didn’t think I did. Not even a little bit.

Yes, I cried. Maybe that’s lame, but I dare say if you’re a girl around my age, you’ve had the same experience. You’ve tried on what seems like every article of clothing in the juniors department, some in the largest sizes they have, and none of it fits you right. Everything seems too tight, and all you can see are your wide hips or the stomach that you wish was smaller. You feel utterly hopeless. You’ll never look like the girl smiling down at you from the poster on the mirror, the girl who’s skinny, perfectly proportioned, and basking in her glamorous self-confidence. So, if you’re anything at all like me, you break down and cry.

Here’s the catch—there’s nothing actually wrong with how I look. I’m a healthy person. I am—dare I say it—kind of pretty. However, I’m not the body type that the department stores are telling me I have to be. I will never, ever be a stick without a serious eating disorder. I’m just not built that way naturally. The department stores, however, don’t care. All I’m left with is disappointment in the form of a sweater that looks great on a poster child, but not on me. So what do I do about it?

Now, I’m going to read your mind.

“I know, I know. Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. I’ve heard this a thousand times. Whatever.” Right? But it’s easy for us to forget, isn’t it? When you’re standing in front of a mirror feeling like a swamp creature, you lose sight of the fact that God couldn’t care less what you look like, but that’s the truth. God couldn’t care less what you look like. He cares that you’re His.

Take a look at Psalm 45:10ff.  The Psalmist begins his song with praise to the King himself, God, but a shift comes when he begins to talk about the queen. The queen represents those who follow God. This is us, girls. He writes, “Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear; forget your people and your father’s house. Then the King will desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him” (10-11 NASB). This is almost astonishingly applicable in our situation, isn’t it? Forget your people. Forget the world! Why do we focus on the world’s standards of beauty when there’s so much more for us to be focused on? When we do focus on God, and HIS standards of beauty, He will desire our beauty. I’m a New American Standard girl, but I love how the New International Version translates this—“Let the king be enthralled by your beauty.” When God sees a woman following Him, He is utterly captivated by her. Wow. What a thought!

So what are God’s standards of beauty? I could direct you to Proverbs 31 or 1 Peter 3:3-4, but I dare say if you grew up in the church you’ve heard these Scriptures before. (Of course, all Scripture is inspired by God, so those are still worth looking up!) So, for the sake of a different take on things, we’re going to take a look at Revelation 19:7b-8, which describes the marriage of the Lamb (Jesus) to His bride (the church). The passage reads, “The marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. It was given to hear to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.” So how do we become a beautiful bride for the Lamb of God? Be ready, through following His plan of salvation. Be righteous, by keeping His commandments. It’s cliché, but it’s true: actions, rather than appearance, determine our true beauty in the eyes of God.

Who cares how I look in the sweater?

This article was originally published in Think Magazine by Focus Press.Used with permission of the author.

Editor’s note: This month, Think is offering a FREE digital copy of the April edition of the magazine. This month is on the topic of Islam and they’d like to spread the word about what this religion is really all about. You can help by downloading your copy and encouraging your friends to do so also. Just go to www.focuspress.org and click on the magazine cover to download.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michaeland Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness


If you’re an American citizen, you probably know the three basic rights guaranteed in the Declaration of Independence. Maybe (like me) you’ve even had to memorize this for history class: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.” Okay, before you get bored with history and tune me out, think about this: God offered us these rights and so much more over two thousand years ago! Take a look.

God offers us LIFE. The Declaration of Independence guarantees that the government will protect our existence, but the Lord offers us so much more than that! On the one hand, being a Christian gives you a much fuller life on earth. If we let Him take control, God will give us freedoms that make life unimaginably wonderful (but I’m going to touch on that a little later). However, without God we’re spiritually dead in our sins, and only accepting His gift of life can fix that. Take a look at Ephesians 2:4-5. Paul writes, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ.” Not only this, but our Father offers us eternal life with Him if we obey Him. In Revelation 2:10, Jesus tells us, “Be faithful until death, and I will give you a crown of LIFE.” I don’t know about you, but I want that crown!

God offers us LIBERTY. Not only are we dead without God, but we’re also slaves: slaves to ourselves, slaves to our sinful nature, slaves to worldliness. The good news is that God wants nothing more than to set us free. I encourage you to go and read all of Romans 6, because it’s an extremely powerful chapter, but right here I’m just going to hit the high points. Check out verses 16-18: “Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? But thanks be to God that though you were slaves to sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” Unlike before, however, we’re not slaves against our will. James the Lord’s brother describes himself as a “bond-servant of God” at the beginning of his letter. A bond-servant was someone who willingly gave himself into another’s service. Plus, God promises us so much freedom. With Him, we can be free from worry (Matthew 6:25-34), and although we feel sorrow at sin, we can take hold of a “repentance without regret, leading to salvation” (2 Cor. 7:10). Slavery to God is no slavery at all; it’s unbeatable, indescribable freedom.

God offers us HAPPINESS. That’s right—not just the pursuit. Only in God can we find TRUE happiness. When you get the time, you ought to read the book of Ecclesiastes all the way through—it’s all about how Solomon looked for happiness in nearly every earthly pursuit you can think of, and just couldn’t find it. You might want to take a look at Psalm 1 too; again, I’m just going to hit high points here. This psalm talks about the blessings that come to one “whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.” Now, this doesn’t mean that we’ll get everything we want materially, but we will be successful spiritually, and that’s what brings us true happiness.

The thing about rights is that you don’t have to take advantage of them. Thousands upon thousands of people don’t take advantage of the freedom to worship God in this country. Some people don’t take advantage of the right to vote. That’s kind of the defining factor of a right: it’s a choice. Once it’s forced upon you, it’s tyranny instead of freedom.

It’s the same thing with God. He’s got a lot of wonderful rights to offer you, but in the end it’s your right. So what’re you going to choose?

Choose life. Choose liberty. Choose happiness.

By Melissa Hite
Melissa (age 16) attends Bear Valley church of Christ with her parents, Michael and Lynn, and her little brother, Matthew. Her goals include continually growing closer to God and eventually becoming a writer and a mom. On her blog, Christ Crossed My Heart, you can find other poignant, well-written posts.

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